I’m drawing a face purely from memory. The pencil etches over the paper as I sketch out the general shape: the nose, the eyes, hair, mouth, chin. As I step back from the finished sketch, I’m horrified. This does not look anything like the person I am trying to draw; in fact, it’s quite grotesque.
That was my experience through the first exercise in Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards. I’ve always wanted to learn to draw better, but I’ve put very little effort into practicing and actually trying to increase my skill level. When I draw, it still feels like my 4th grade drawings of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There is some sense of facial features and proportionality, but there is no depth or sense of freedom in how I pose a character. I also struggle to transfer images from my mind’s eye to the paper in a way that accurately reflects the image.
This first exercise was part of a pre-instruction trio; they are just meant to establish a baseline, so that I might see my progress later on down the line. Yet, I put the exercises off for so many days, afraid of failing, afraid of looking at the finished drawing and being disappointed about how it turned out. Why?
Why is it so hard to begin again with a new skill?